As the right farewell is important, our blog provides information to assist families who are uncertain what type of funeral service they would like. Knowing what options are available before committing to a specific type of service is helpful to ensure that the funeral is planned with a fitting farewell.
While some people feel most comfortable with a familiar, traditional ceremony and structure, others prefer alternative funeral services. They may a quieter, less formal option that is easier on the budget or they may like something that is meaningful in an alternative way. It is helpful to know what options are available, what choices involve and how flexible they can be. Clarity makes a difficult time feel a little more manageable.
What a Traditional Funeral Usually Includes
A traditional funeral usually follows a format that many families might be familiar with. The funeral may be a service in a chapel or church, followed by either a burial or cremation. A viewing, rosary or funeral prayers may precede the funeral service, either just prior to the funeral service or on a seperate day to the service.
All traditional services follow a standard format. Religious services usually progress in accordance with the religion’s traditions which can be at times very strict. Funeral services that are not religious also usually follow a standard format although there is room to adapt the service to suit families.
Funeral services usually begin with music, a welcome, eulogies or readings or prayers, an audio-visual photo presentation and a committal, ending with music. For many people, this order matters, it gives people comfort knowing what to expect, and how to pay their respects. Services allow time for personal reflection and offer people a place to gather to share in the farewell to somebody that was mutually important and loved.
Families choose traditional farewells who value a formal service with a clear sequence of events. They offer comfort to the elderly who take comfort with familiar customs.
What are Memorial Services
A memorial service is held after the burial or cremation as an alternative to a funeral service. It is a more flexible service which can take place days, weeks and even months after the person has passed. Recently this type of service has become increasingly popular as it gives provides family with more time to breathe and grieve. It allows time and space to bring people together and to prepare and attend a fitting farewell.
Because there is less pressure around timing and having a coffin at a service, memorial services can be more personal and quite different from a traditional service. They are usually less formal gatherings held in locations that have special meaning that don’t have the structure and time constraints of cemetery locations and churches.
Memorial Services after a burial or cremation can take place in meaningful locations to the person that has passed or the family such as the family home, at a park, by the sea or at a club, pub or restaurant that holds special meaning. The service can incorporate aspects of a traditional service but feel less formal.
Flexibility around locations for the Memorial Service allow for more creative types of tributes. Services usually center on stories, music, photos, videos and the personal details that made someone who they were with less formality. Sometimes the ashes of the person are present, and family may choose to incorporate a scattering ceremony into the service.
This style of funeral can work well for families who want the day to feel more like a shared remembrance than a set ceremony with just a few people speaking. People are encouraged to share food and drink, speak more freely, dress less formally, and add personal touches that would feel out of place in formal settings.
Private Farewell prior to Cremation
Cremation is often chosen because it keeps things simpler and, in many cases, more affordable. Families and close friends may like to have a meaningful farewell prior to the cremation without a formal funeral service at the time the person has passed.
Flexibility matters and funeral services should accommodate people who would like a viewing or small, quiet farewell with only those close to the person present to allow them to say goodbye. It is also possible for funerals to be arranged so that families can follow the hearse from the funeral home or meet the hearse at the cemetery prior to the cremation taking place.
Choosing the Right Option for Your Family
The best choice of farewell depends mainly on who the person was and the preferences of family or close friends arranging the funeral. Structured Funeral Services are usually more straight forward and involve less decision making for the person arranging the funeral. The age of the person that has died, the circumstances around the death, and the number of people attending can also a play a part in making decisions about the type of service and the best location for it. Cultural and religious traditions, budget, family expectations and any wishes of the person that has died often play a significant role in the decisions made for the the funeral.It is important to remember that a service does not need to look a certain way to be respectful.
What matters most is that the funeral service feels honest. For one family, that may mean a church service with clear rituals. For another, it may be a small memorial with tea, photographs and time to talk. Both can be dignified. Both can be fitting and help people say goodbye.
Talk Through Your Options
If you would like a practical conversation about traditional or alternative funeral options, Australian Pensioner Funerals is here to assist. You can visit our contact page or call us on (03) 9419 0004 to discuss options at your own pace.