In the first hours after someone dies, even the smallest of decisions can feel daunting. Many families in Melbourne, the Mornington Peninsula and Geelong may be unsure of who to call or what the next steps are. Australian Pensioner Funerals offers support with our calm practical advice during a time that can feel overwhelming.
This guide sets out the funeral planning steps in plain language, so you can move through each stage without feeling pressured. When arranging a funeral, you do not need to have every answer straight away. Most decisions can be handled one step at a time, with help from the right people, to ease your stress.
Confirming the Passing and Who to Call
If the person passes away at home, the first step is to call their palliative care doctor or nurse or triple zero (000) for ambulance or police when a death is not expected. Usually, verification of the death is required prior to a funeral director transferring the person into their care. Registered nurses, doctors and paramedics can verify the death.
If the death occurs in a palliative care or aged care home, the home will arrange for a registered nurse to verify the death and will guide you regarding timing of arranging a funeral service to provide a transfer from the home. As care homes usually require transfers to happen soon after the death, it is helpful to be prepared and have a preferred funeral service in mind.
If the death occurs in a hospital, or when the Coroners Court is involved, the hospital staff will support you at the time of the death and will usually arrange a transfer to their own mortuary facilities. In these circumstances, you will have time before contacting a funeral director to gain more clarity about a suitable funeral service.
Contacting a Funeral Director
When you have prior warning, it may be helpful to contact your preferred funeral service prior to the death for understanding and advice. This can be very helpful and take away some of the stress at the time the person passes away.
Once a death has occurred, you can contact your chosen funeral service to let them know of the death. They will guide you through the steps for a death at home or liaise with an aged care home or hospital to arrange the transfer of your loved one into their care. Often it is easier to provide aged care or palliative care homes with the details of the funeral company, and they can make contact on your behalf. This is especially helpful when a person passes away in the night and family have chosen not to be in attendance when funeral staff arrive.
It is recommended that a funeral service is called rather than contacted by email. A phone call ensures that information is received quickly and there is no delay in receiving a response. Phone calls are also an opportunity for comfort and reassurance during these first moments from a service that understands the challenges you are experiencing. Staff answering your call will help explain all aspects including transport, timing and what needs attention first.
It is important to know that you are not required to engage a funeral service that a care home or hospital recommend or has a contract with to arrange transfers. You can change your mind about the funeral service you have chosen even after the transfer has taken place. It is important to choose the funeral provider that feels right for you and your family.
Funeral Planning on the First Day
First contact with a funeral service will involve providing basic information about the person, their location and the key contact person. After making contact, the funeral service will arrange the transfer to bring your loved one into their care and look after any required paperwork. This takes pressure off the family during a very challenging time.
Most other decisions do not need to be made on day one. This allows space to take in the loss before feeling obliged to commence the funeral planning process. Flexibility is important and you should be given the opportunity to decide when you would like to be contacted and decide the best time and location to make funeral arrangements. Everything can occur in your own time, and no aspect needs to be immediate once a transfer has been arranged. The only exception to this is when a burial or service is required quickly due to religious or personal preference.
Your funeral consultant will help guide you through all aspects of planning a funeral. There is no need to worry about any details being missed as it is their job to assist you along the way.
Choosing between Burial or Cremation
Some families know in advance whether they would like a burial or cremation. They may own a family grave, have religious beliefs that guide them or have a personal preference for one or the other. Other families may need some time to decide which suits the type of farewell and memorial they would like with cost and location often influencing their final decision.
Burials offer a permanent memorial to visit in a cemetery and cater for a more traditional service. Cremations can provide more flexibility around farewells and are usually a less expensive option. Timing and the location for a cremation funeral service or memorial service can play a role in the decision-making process.
Traditions and Personal Preferences
A farewell can be a simple for just a few people, or it can be a formal funeral service following traditional or religious requirements. There is always room for choosing unique and different farewells that truly reflect the life of the person.
Families may choose a funeral service in a cemetery chapel, church, local venue or at a graveside. Memorial services held after a cremation has taken place add further location options for people who wish to celebrate the life of their loved one in an entirely different way.
Music, eulogies, readings, photos, rituals and special tributes can all be incorporated into both funeral and memorial services. Family preferences combined with preferences of the person that has passed are often taken into consideration. The choice of funeral service is completely up to the family or friend arranging the funeral. In a city as diverse as Melbourne, when personal and community traditions matter, choices around a funeral service should always be treated with respect.
Funeral planning with a Funeral Consultant
Funeral planning with a Funeral Consultant (or Funeral Director) should be convenient. Flexibility is important to alleviate stress at a difficult time. Our staff will travel to provide appointments either at our office or at a convenient location such as a family member’s home in all suburbs of Melbourne, the Mornington Peninsula and Geelong. An appointment at a home ensures that you do not need to deal with unknowns such as traffic, finding locations and parking limitations. In circumstances when an appointment is not possible. The option to arrange a funeral is possible over the phone or via video conferencing (eg. Zoom)
Knowing what will be covered in an appointment can be helpful especially when more than one person is contributing to making the decisions. At the appointment, the Funeral Director should guide you with gentle support to make the following decisions:
- Choosing the type of service feels that feels right (or no service at all)
- Time and location of the service (there may be places that you haven’t considered)
- Type of celebrant or religious clergy
- Religious, cultural and personal ceremonies that should be included
- Choice of preferred coffin
- Clothing and items of importance to be included in the coffin
- Floral display and choice of music (which may have special meaning to you or the person you are farewelling)
- Type, design and inclusions for printed stationery
- Photos and music you would like included in a photo presentation
- Any additional ideas that you would like to include before or during the service
It is possible to accommodate special requests which further personalize the funeral service. This may be a display of personal items with special meaning, the draping of flags or scarves on coffins. The Funeral Director should work with you to bring your ideas to life to truly reflect the unique personality and life of your loved one.
Paperwork and Administrative Planning
Most of the administration and paperwork will be managed by the Funeral Consultant and the next of kin will likely only need to provide their signature as authorisation on some documents. Administrative duties that are
- Organising funeral products by liaising with suppliers to ensure the service is just as you wish
- Completion of any forms required by hospitals, cemeteries or by law
- Registering the death and ordering a legal Death Certificate
- Completion and submission of Centrelink’s Advice of Death Form (SA116)
- Assistance with paperwork needed for financial claims (eg. funeral insurance claims, DVA)
On the Day of the Funeral
The most important thing to do on the day of the funeral is to attend and spend time with the people who matter most to you. Everything else will be looked after by the Funeral Director including:
- Setting up the venue, guiding and assisting guests and inviting them to sign the memorial book
- Co-ordinating venue staff, celebrants, clergy and speakers
- Making sure that everything is running smoothly – we’re particularly good at that!
Registering the Death in Victoria
In Victoria, the death is registered by the Funeral Service through BDM (Victoria) previously known as the Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages (Victoria). Registering a death cannot occur until after a burial or cremation has taken place.
The Funeral Consultant will require information about the person’s birth, marriages & relationships, and children which is needed to register the death. They will usually ask for this information when arranging the funeral. The official death certificate will be issued to the nominated informant after BDM (Victoria) has processed the registration. You are not required to register the death yourself.
After the funeral, the official death certificate will be required by organisations and to apply for probate in order to finalise the affairs of the person that has passed.
Grief and Support
Grief can make even basic tasks feel harder than usual both when organising a funeral and long afterwards. It is helpful to share the burden of tasks and calling on friends, carers and relatives who more often than not would like to assist in some way. Asking for assistance when going through a difficult time allows you to sit with loss and gives others the direction they may need to provide you with the best possible support.
Community organisations, faith leaders, palliative care agencies and bereavement counsellors are other options when seeking grief support. It is important that you don’t feel alone and afraid to reach out to others around you at a difficult time.
Talk to Our Staff When You Feel Ready
This guide should be used as a starting point to consider. If you have questions about any aspects of arranging a funeral, please contact us at Australian Pensioner Funerals for practical and helpful support. Visit our contact page or call (03) 9419 0004 when you feel ready.